Well-adjusted

I don't even know what that means. And I work in mental health.

One could assume it means "healthy, able to navigate society without difficulty, possessing life/social/independent living skills, able to fit in."

I would agree with all of that, except for the fact that "navigating" or "fitting in" to "society" requires a moral degradation in most cases that I am uncomfortable perpetuating. To fit into our society is gender specific. It's sexual orientation specific. It's body type specific.

I was reminded of this the other day, and honestly guys, I'm no more screwed up than most women I know. At points in my life, I have been promiscuous (whatever that means, yes I linked to my own blog, it's one of my better, more well thought out ones), abused alcohol, had an eating disorder, been severely depressed, been in abusive relationships,been sexually assaulted and experienced PTSD because of trauma.

Whoa, look at that ya'll. I'm sort of normal.

Normal within the abnormality of our society, that is. Which should tell you as much about society as it does me.

Nothing like being pregnant and ABSOLUTELY SURROUNDED by the effect of bad parenting and society (hi, I'm a case manager at an adolescent drug rehab treating kids who talk about getting high WITH their parents in group) to make you quake in your insoles (my back hurts) about the future of your unborn child.

I recently had a relative say to me "Well, they aren't misogynists because of their mother, that's society that did that," referring to two men I know. 

Partially, yes. But partially no. Parents are a product of society, just like their kids. However. I don't distrust (most) men because I watched too much MTV and SVU, in fact, I don't watch MTV, and I didn't watch SVU til that mistrust was good and full-blown in my twenties.

I have distrusted (most) men because I was given reason to. My father was emotionally detatched and allowed me to be abused when I was a child, and my brother did the abusing. First two men in my life gave me a good, hearty empirical data on which to base that distrust. I've spent a lot of time in therapy working on that distrust, and I am able to have healthy relationships with men and a good relationship with my dad now. But I do still have to do some reprogramming sometimes.

Parents have a duty to realize the dysfunction in society and to disarm it, but a lot of them don't. So, if your kids don't trust women, you had something to do with it, mom. Or dad, if you disrespect women.  And disrespect of women is so overt these days, people throw around words like "cunt" and "slut" with a casual air that chills me to the core. Even more still, treating a woman like she's crazy for having emotions, or for getting angry, or calling her a bitch because she won't let you treat her like an objectified doormat, or portraying women as a certain body type, these are more sinister, and much more common. This is the world, and the environment, my son will grow up in. I am terrified, I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Speaking of body types, this whole blog was spawned by me looking in the mirror the other day. I am almost 6 months pregnant. I've put on some weight. I thought "I don't feel feminine." And then I thought "What the fuck? I'm pregnant! That is the epitome of feminine, there is nothing moreso! What the HELL is wrong with me?" I didn't grow up in a cave, guys, I'm a product of society just like you. I got that idea from all the bullshit pushers out there who peddle insane workout videos to pregnant women and get you on that weight loss diet the minute you push the kid out.

How many magazines out there (BESIDES Playboy and the naked preggo Demi spread how many years ago) portray pregnancy as a time of beauty and femininity? Most of them help you make excuses ("Sex is going to change," "Your wife may not be feeling as beautiful of late, she may be having body image issues," "Men, how DO you deal with these mood swings?"), and don't get me wrong, those are helpful (sometimes), but where is the "delight in the joy that is you creating a motherfucking life, for God's sake," where is that one?

Thank God, for my midwife, who, after taking a look at my medical history and seeing "eating disorder" on there, said "You know what? I'd be worried if you were losing weight. You're pregnant. Try to eat healthy, but don't beat yourself up for weight gain."  I coulda kissed her.

I think I'm going to buy a cattle prod to use on anyone who uses degrading terminology or talks about dieting around my son. Ladies, that goes for you too. That legacy stops here.